If there is something that bothers me and irritates me, it’s the standards of beauty that we have set on our beautiful African women. And to be sincere I think it hurts our ego and self esteem.
The other day I was chatting with my friends and then one of them asked me ,why haven’t you made your hair?…..well that question made all of us argue….actually I had made my hair…only that I hadn’t put on a wig or weave and I hadn’t braided it either….I was wearing my natural African hair. And when I say natural African hair…I mean hair that hasn’t been straightened up…hair that has just been washed, oiled and combed neatly. I like the fact that my hair is not silky straight, actually I rarely straighten it. And going by the European standards of beauty, my hair, or any other Africans girl hair ought to be silky, straightened up, wiged, weaved, braided and long enough to touch ones shoulder. The funny and good thing is that the only time my hair ever touched my shoulder was when I was in high school, and after cutting it off it never grew past my ears. So my friends after arguing concluded that I hadn’t made my hair….and that my hair was neat but not done…confusing huh?. You can imagine the words I got from them after dissing on their weaves and wigs…calling them fake hair. Well we obviously had to stop talking about beauty and hair after smelling a cat fight or world war4.
Even when we were arguing I kept on thinking ‘I wish they knew how long it took me just to wash my hair, wait for it to dry, comb it and style it the way I had.
And that’s why I was asking myself….why set European standards of beauty on African women?? Why can’t an African woman wear her kinky hair and not be asked questions like ‘why isn’t your hair made?’
Why can’t we let an African woman be comfortable in her skin? Grouping women in groups of dark skin and light skin as we call them. Totally showing that the African woman has sinned by having a dark skin. Haven’t you seen how most of them are going through a hard process of trying to lighten their skin just to fit-in in the European standards of beauty? Anyway, just remember it’s just as insulting to call someone ugly because they have light skin as it is to call someone ugly for having dark skin.
Why can’t we let our African woman embrace her figure 8 shape and embrace it too by not calling her fat? You can imagine what many women go through after being called ‘fat’. Why act like being fat is worse than contracting AIDS or any other disease…..like cholera…huh?
Have you ever seen an African woman preparing for her wedding?? Some of them who have been called fat before, start dieting decades before their wedding….and then order or get their wedding gown designed after they achieve the weight and size that they have been told is perfect. Imagine having a waist of 38 and having to slim it down to 28?…..or a tummy that is not flat and having to flatten it up? I always tell people, eat healthy and exercise….don’t eat less, don’t eat much….don’t exercise too much and don’t be too lazy to not exercise…..wait, I am already setting a standard right?
Anyway, why can’t we have our own African standards of beauty? And who even sets these European standards on us, is it us or our African men? And, if it is our African men, well, they are free to go date those European women. Because ain’t no African woman with a high self esteem got time to live by standards she ain’t set for herself.
To the African woman out there…..embrace your skin, hair and anything African you’ve got….flaunt it!! But it’s still cool if you have decided on your own decision and rightful mind to lighten your skin, straighten your hair and go on diet just to slim. As long as no one is forcing you its ok but don’t do it if it’s someone who said you are too dark, or your hair is too curled and kinky, or your hair is too short. Do what you want anyway; it’s your body….right?
Life is too short to let people set living standards for you leave alone beauty standards!
don’t tell her she is pretty for a dark-skinned girl,dark skin is not a badge of shame;but rather a glorious masterpiece, created by God Himself.